Recently, I came across a social media post that left me deeply disturbed. A mother shared her shock upon discovering that her son was being molested by older boys in his boarding school. As a parent, the thought of such a thing happening to your child is chilling. The mother described her frustration during a visit to the school before the revelation. She wasn’t able to have a private conversation with her son, who appeared withdrawn and sad, because the teachers were constantly hovering around them. This made me wonder if the school was aware of the situation and was trying to prevent the boy from confiding in his mother.
Having attended a boarding school myself, I understand the complexities of that environment. Although I disliked my time there, it was a period of significant growth for me. Boarding school taught me invaluable skills such as independence, time management, self-discipline, and teamwork. I am also grateful for the values and morals instilled in me by my parents from a young age. Without my strong background in faith, I wouldn’t have navigated boarding school life as seamlessly.
Disciplinary issues at my school were rare but memorable. One incident involved a teacher-student relationship that led to a transfer and an expulsion. Another involved a same-sex relationship, which resulted in a suspension. These behaviors were not normalized and were met with strict consequences. The school’s approach to discipline was clear: bad behavior was treated with disdain, and the culprits faced harsh penalties.
This recent incident brought back memories of my own experiences and highlighted the importance of vigilance and open communication in ensuring the safety and well-being of students.
Here are some steps parents can take to help safeguard their children
- Open Communication: Establish a strong line of communication with your child. Encourage them to share their experiences and feelings without fear of judgment or punishment. Make sure they know they can come to you with any concerns.
- Educate Your Child: Teach your child about personal boundaries and the importance of saying “no” to any unwanted physical contact. Educate them about what constitutes inappropriate behavior and how to recognize it.
- Visit the School Regularly: Make unannounced visits to the school to observe the environment and ensure that your child is safe. This can also help you build a rapport with the school staff and other parents.
- Know the School’s Policies: Familiarize yourself with the school’s policies on bullying, harassment, and abuse. Ensure that the school has a clear protocol for handling such incidents and that they take these matters seriously.
- Encourage Peer Support: Encourage your child to build a network of trusted friends who can look out for each other. Peer support can be a valuable resource for children in boarding schools.
- Monitor Changes in Behavior: Be vigilant about any changes in your child’s behavior, such as withdrawal, anxiety, or unexplained fear. These could be signs that something is wrong, and it’s important to address them promptly.
- Stay Involved: Stay actively involved in your child’s life, even when they are away at school. Attend school events, participate in parent-teacher meetings, and stay informed about your child’s academic and social progress.
- Advocate for Your Child: If you suspect that your child is being mistreated, take immediate action. Report your concerns to the school administration and, if necessary, to the appropriate authorities. Advocate for your child’s safety and well-being.
By taking these proactive steps, parents can help create a safer environment for their children in boarding schools and ensure that they have the support they need to thrive.
